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The Secret?
So I have been told by many people about "The Secret" and how I simply must read it or watch it....Lesley gave my the dvd and book a month or so a go and I never got roun to it.
SO this morning I watched it...WOWSERS!! Very inspiring yet so simple!! Be postitve, focus, think about what you DO want and dont waste time thinking about what you DONT want....stay positive and focus, focus on what you already have, focus hard, and .....stay positive!!

I particulalry liked the cosmic ordering side of it, I shall certainly be creating a visualisation board or a dream board.....

I guess its all too easy in life to say what we are fed up of, what we dont want, but how often o we really positively say " I want XYZ" its all just a thought process I guess.

As somone who is not remotely religious....(come on as if all that really happened!!) I find it comforting to have something to believe in....my philosophy tutor at college (yes I really did study that!) once said to me
"Lee its fine to not believe in religion, very bold of you, but everyone needs a belief of some sort its what keeps the world ticking perhaps you need to find your own beliefs in life to enrich yourself"

My answer "Ray...I do have a belief...I firmly believe in angels and fairies...." !!!!

I bet you can imagine his face.....I have to say tho, I stand by that, I DO believe in angels an fairies...!!!

10 years on.....
This time 10 years ago my baby girl was 1 day, and 4 hours old, all 8lbs 1oz of her was completely beautiful, she was snuffley and crinkley and I felt so much love for her I couldnt believe it....

As for me, I was 21 and physically I had only been up and walking for 3 hours (I remember it so well! OUCH!!) I was equally full of sadness as the birth of Chloe was an aspect my then gf couldnt deal with, she never wanted children at all and couldnt cope with the knowledge of the attack in which had left me pregnant.She was there at the birth, as she always promised,it was an emotional time all round. So 21, heartbroken single mum, with no job and a £55k mortgage to pay for....I was so worried for me and Chloes fututre....

Now that brings me onto the changes, in 1999 you could get a 3 bed detatched in York for £60k!! There were no ipods, I wasnt computer literate, I didnt have the net at home and as a matter of fact I dont think I really knew what the net was!! I didnt have a mobile phone and dark green kitchen accessories were the "thing" as was MDF, teracotta paint and home DIY!! This was the year that "livin la vida loca" was in the charts!! Yikes!!

10 Years on, Chloe is still just as gorgeous, when she passed her ballet and tap exams with distiction I cried with pride, she is amazing such a clever, talented yet down to earth little girl. I am so proud to be her Mum.

I couldnt even begin to write how much change in those 10 years for me, I would be here all day! Cherish every second of life, spend every minute you can with your kids, my god they grow up so fast. Sometimes we get caught up in what I refer to as the "bullsh*^%y bits of life and loose track of the things that matter. Take stock of how far you have come in life and what is really important to you, and just love life xxxx

(no subject)
Well here I am!! Hello *waves* I find it facinating in life how when you scratch beneith the surface of the people you know in life everyone as a story to tell.....sometimes these can be pretty boring and dull but it always amazes me how many depths to a person there are..... I am no different myself....on the surface of things, if you were to meet me (or indeed if you are reading this and you know me) you would see me probably as a bit of a joker, outgoing, confident perhaps...Im the type that cant be quiet if I try, I speak first and think later (sometimes its funny but sometimes its really not!!) I dont do this on purpose its just the way I am, I call a spade a spade I am not one for holding back I speak my mind, I change my hair colour monthly sometimes weekly, I wont leave the house without make up, I am a proud lady I dont like to ask for help....unless my car needs something doing to it, screen wash etc!! I am opinionated, I am stubborn, I am simple not simple thick but simple as in straight forward (although I am not straight can you be gay forward....hmmmm no that woulnt have the same ring to it would it?!) I am not an intellectual, I used to feel ashamed of that, but I dont anymore, while I may not be an intellectual or hold a degree I am ambitious and determind, I am passionate.....*sighs* I could be here all frickin day but the long and short of it is the person you percieve me as, whether you know me or not, would be a mixture of the above. However scratch beneith the surface of me and there is a whole lot more.....sometimes my head gets so full of words, questions, memories, scenarios, more words and questions, flashbacks (mainly shit ones but there you go, gotta take the rough with the smooth!!) I have decided to write all these words down in the form of a journal....well type them jesus if I wrote them you woulnt be able to read half of it!! I do honestly feel sometimes that my head needs emptying of these thoughts, words etc sometimes I am getting on with daily life but inside my head I am having tourettes (its kinda funny) my cheeks hurt its like I just need to get all the words out....so here we are my very own space to have life memory tourettes!